By Macayla Cook, Gretchen Hartenstein, James Kelly, Christopher Malinowski | February 4, 2024
Members of the 2023-24 WVUD Ops Board decided to cover the 66th Grammy Awards. This is the result of that decision.
James: Tonight is the 66th annual Grammy Awards, where the Recording Academy honors the best artists in the business through intense screening and voting for months on end simply to produce a program that puts our favorite artists in the same room for three hours. It’s incredible there isn’t a boxing ring in the middle of the Crypto.com Arena. Anyway, Eminem really pulled the wool back from our eyes when he called out the system that determines the winners. Even though he’s won 15 Grammys.
Thanks Eminem.
First performance
J: Dua Lipa’s gymnasium of homoerotica was quite the spectacle.
One word… Ass, not the performance… but I see her ass. What is my case? I have no qualms about this.
Gretchen: That’s a lot of men.
Macayla: She’s so hot.
Post-Dua Lipa
J: Trevor Noah is kissed by “Only Murders In The Building” star, Meryl Streep
M: Lucky him…….I do love him tho
J: I know right.
M: 21 Savage is amazingly Indifferent to everything it’s nuts.
J: Noah, somewhere between age 25 and 60, is already pulling far ahead in professionalism and humor than Jo Koy hosting the Golden Globes.
M: Doja Cat, forgetting that the Grammys were happening tonight, has arrived in a trucker hat.
J: Yeah cause she gotta back that truck up.
M: Trevor Noah really said “slay women!,” a sentiment that the Brits could never echo. He said Boygenius, that’s all he had to do
Anyway, Lenny Kravitz. Also, Terry Cruise CIA era???? NINE NINE– OH OH AND JONI MITCHELL!
J: I will say, I’m looking forward to U2. Two years ago, H.E.R. and Lenny Kravitz did a performance that blew my fucking mind. I still go back to watch that performance at least once a month.
First Award
M: Mariah Carey presented the first category: Best Pop Solo Performance. Miley Cyrus won with “Flowers,” earning her first Grammy (believe it or not, “Party In the USA” did not win a Grammy, proving that the Academy is not always the official arbiters of taste).
Miley Cyrus’s hair is epic. Hannah Montana having a great night. Mariah Carey, meanwhile, is absurdly confused.
J: Yes, Miley’s hair has been power washed, dried by a mach 2 blow dryer, and reattached by scotch tape.
Second Performance
M: And now, “Fast Car.” Joy of all joys. My dad hates this song so I learned to hate it too, and the cover is just even more annoying in my mind.
J: Great song, and I do like his version, but it is severely overplayed. It needs to be preserved before I go insane.
Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs performed “Fast Car” as the audience, littered with accomplished performers, lyricists, and producers in their own rights, stood and sang along with enthusiasm. Chapman originally released the song from her self-titled debut album in 1988 and was covered by Combs in 2023, shooting it up to the number two spot on Billboard’s Hot 100.
M: That’s right, Whoopi Goldberg loved that!
Second Award
M: Next, Maluma and Christina Aguilera presented the award for Best Musica Urbana album. The Grammy went to Karol G for her record “Mañana Será Bonito.” This project was her fourth studio album.
Third Performance
M: SZA, channeling the Undertaker, delivered a showstopping performance featuring various songs from her record-breaking sophomore album, SOS. During “Kill Bill,” a dancer emerged from under a table with a katana, nearly beheading Phoebe Bridgers in the process. SZA’s vocals during the performance were certainly notable, delivering insane consistency from the recorded track to live version and demonstrating more-than-sufficient vocal dexterity.
J: Okay are we gonna ignore the fact that Phoebe Bridgers nearly just got her noggin lobbed off by a katana?
M: She’s loving it
Non-Televised Award
Chris: Turn on, turn off the news! Paramore, hot off their recent label contract as well as recent collaboration with A24 Music for a cover of “Burning Down The House” by Talking Heads has won the Grammy for Best Rock Album this year with their work “This Is Why”. They are now a three-time winning band with their first being the Best Rock Song for “Ain’t It Fun” back in 2014 and now with two more wins under their belt including this grammy for Best Rock Album as well as Best Alternative Music Performance for This Is Why.
Fourth Performance
M: In an intimate performance, Billie Eilish performed “What Was I Made For?,” her only accompaniment being her brother Finneas’ piano playing and a few string players. Eilish collaborates frequently with her brother; the two of them wrote this song for the Barbie movie. I will cut this off here because if I start talking about the Barbie movie, I probably won’t stop for a while. That movie was AWESOME.
This hair era for her is ICONIC. Like, the little piece falling down in the front with the teased crown? It’s so Dolly Parton, I love it. I think Dolly Parton should be the president tbh. Like, anyone who disagrees with that woman is wrong. She’s wonderful.
J: Miley Cyrus, after winning her very first Grammy for “Flowers,” performed the song live to celebrate. Rocking hair only her godmother could’ve passed along to her, she called out those in attendance acting a little restrained from wanting to dance along like they should be.
M: Cyrus’s stage presence is not to be underestimated, dancing about the stage in a silver sparkly bikini and skirt while making the whole singing part of her job look incredibly easy.
J: Paying homage to one of her heroes, the late Tina Turner, she repeated the last few verses of the song in a “Proud Mary”- esque way. Miley Cyrus was not the only one to bring home a first Grammy award, though.
Third Award
M: Upcoming artist Laney Wilson took home the Best Country Album award, giving a heartfelt speech dedicated to her small hometown in Louisiana. Wilson is a self-described “fifth-generation farmer’s daughter,” making her win extremely impressive.
J: Just to think the last time we did this, it was about Nazis
M: Hey I did miss this, best part of our jobs honestly
J: The Nazis?
M: … Yes Jamie, the Nazis, that’s totally what I’m talking about
J: Far out
Fourth Award
M: Best R&B Song, presented by Lizzo, was awarded to SZA for “Snooze.” Here at WVUD, we predict this will be the first of quite a few Grammys for SZA tonight. SZA’s speech thanked a sprawling list of people, including the presenter of the award, with whom she has shared an 11-year friendship. She was adorably overwhelmed, trailing off the end of her speech and simply saying, “Hi Taylor. I love you. I…I’m not an attractive cryer, have a good evening.”
M: Afterwards, Olivia Rodrigo performed her smash hit “Vampire,” off her heavily-anticipated sophomore record, GUTS. Throughout the performance, she gradually smeared herself with blood that we really hope was fake.
J: Read Macayla’s album review of GUTS here. It was really good, in our unbiased opinion.
Seventh Performance & Fifth Award
J: U2 have been enjoying their residency in Las Vegas, performing in The Sphere, the newest venue in the Nevada desert oasis. After playing “Atomic City,” Bono presented the Grammy for best pop vocal album to Taylor Swift, making this her 13th Grammy. Swift revealed the title of her brand new album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” and said it will be available April 19th.
Eighth Performance
J: Stevie Wonder paid tribute to his late friend, Tony Bennett, who passed away last year due to complications from Alzheimer’s disease. He performed “For Once In My Life,” with background vocals provided by a recording of Bennett from a previous performance with Wonder. A gift from beyond, Bennett joins him on stage for one last song with one of his many partners in crime. Wonder then played “The Best Is Yet To Come,” as the names of those who dedicated their lives to music appeared behind him. Annie Lennox ushered in the bigger names that will no longer be posted to marquis around the world. Performing Prince’s “Nothing Compares 2 U,” I guarantee there wasn’t a single dry eye in that arena. Lennox finished her time on stage by saying: “Artists for ceasefire, peace in the world,” with her fist in the air as a picture of Sinead O’Connor appeared behind her. Jon Batiste had the help of an illustrious choir backing him up as he sang “Lean On Me,” that is until Patti LaBelle showed up to join him for “Optimistic.”
Fucking love Proud Mary. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the horns, maybe it’s the story, maybe it’s just Tina. Actually it’s probably Flushed Away but you tell no one.
G: I thought that in my mind and then you wrote it not 2 seconds after.
Ninth Performance
M: Oprah Winfrey also delivered a touching monologue in memory of her friend Tina Turner. Fantasia Barrino followed said monologue with a rousing performance of “Proud Mary,” clad in Turner’s signature fringe.
Jay-Z Is Presented With The Dr. Dre Global Impact Award
M: Jay Z is so high he has just realized he’s on stage/live television…I don’t think he realizes that isn’t Beyonce.
J: He’s in his own Empire State of Mind.
M: HOMIE SPEED IT UP! His poor daughter he just shaded like all the Grammy nominees to their FACES.
J: I feel like The Grammys is just a televised festival at this point and I don’t hate that. I mean it’s nice to see people win and my parents are sitting here wondering when they’re gonna present the next award. I kinda don’t mind this. I noticed that it’s becoming more and more like a musical recap of the past year, which is really cool. It’s a fun reminder of why we love music and that we still get excited about it. I like that it’s becoming this more performance-oriented show rather than a full-on award show. It breaks up the monotony of the traditional award show playbook, as well as putting the concert in your living room. CBS Cares.
M: Totally agree. Like, obviously we want to see some of the fun awards, but it’s mostly about
the performances, and I like that they’re realizing that.
Sixth Award
J: Lionel Ritchie presented the Grammy for Song of the Year, which he won in 1986 for co-writing “We Are The World” with Michael Jackson. The Grammy went to Billie Eilish for “What Was I Made For?” from Barbie.
M: If Lana comes out of this night with no Grammys I will be pissed. She’s been nominated for FUCKING ELEVEN awards and has never won one. Girly looks like she’s mourning her rich husband who she totally killed but if she doesn’t get a Grammy tonight, she’ll be mourning the Academy because I’m gonna burn it down.
Tenth Performance
J: Brandi Carlile introduced “The Matriarch of Imagination,” to use her words, as Joni Mitchell made her Grammy performance debut.
M: Mitchell, now 80, has battled poverty, a near-fatal brain aneurysm, and polio in her life. She has learned to speak three times, making her singing on the Grammys nothing short of a miracle.
J: She sat in a gilded armchair next to Carlile, whom she has mentored and performed with many times before. Both Mitchell and Carlile won Grammys for Best Folk Album and Americana Performance, respectively.
Eleventh Performance
J: I lost a lot of respect for Travis Scott after Astroworld. I get it wasn’t his fault but also it was the weak-ass video afterwards that was a PR nightmare of epic proportions.
M: No, me too. Like, the fact that he never really apologized and seemed to treat it as more of a thorn in his side rather than an incident where people literally lost their lives definitely gave me the wrong vibe.
Trevor Noah
“I used to get Afro-beats from my mother when I came home past my curfew so this is nothing new to me” – Trevor Noah, 2024
M: Trevor Noah’s ability to throw in jokes about beating children and Epstein’s Island then just move right on is truly incredible.
J: He’s such a great host.
M: Agreed, so much better than that guy who made fun of Taylor Swift and Barbie.
J: Yeah, Jo Koy bombed which sucks because he’s decent, but it’s like watching someone shoot holes in the bottom of their boat and wonder why the water is coming in.
M: Literally homie was like “women! Am I right?” and then wondered why the entire world didn’t laugh with him.
J: He did make a joke saying he got the gig like a matter of days beforehand so that could’ve played into it. Maybe it was just a bit but the question has to be asked.
M: Yeah. I get that maybe it was a last minute bit but making women the punchline is just so exhausting and so unfunny… It’s been done so many times and it never was funny and it still never will be.
Seventh Award
J: Damn… Jelly Roll kinda funny. Thought he’d get it.
M: WAIT YAY I thought Ice Spice was gonna get it but Victoria Monet is SO GOOD I’m so hype.
J: I’ve heard bits of the song they played as she walked up, she’s good. Her speech is really good.
M: Literally she’s so talented I’m so happy for her.
Seventh Award
J: Celine Dion, ladies and gentlemen.
M: Icon. Legend. She is the moment.
J: Take it home, Macayla.
M: I AM SAD FOR LANA BUT SO HAPPY FOR HER THIS IS FUCKING HISTORY THAT’S MOTHER OH MY GOD. SHE’S SO MOTHER UGH I’M SO HAPPY FOR HER SHE SLAYS.
Lana still went home without a fucking Grammy but she did get shouted out onstage and all that so I won’t burn the Academy down but they better give her one soon because otherwise I’ll riot just a little tiny bit.
J: And with that, I’m off to bed.
M: Me too. Good night, looking forward to sorting through all of these notes at some point.